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Text Box: I have been seeing a young client, Greg, on a regular basis for almost one year. His mother is faithful to bring him for each session and his immediate and extended family firmly believes in the power of counseling. During the initial session, Greg explained debilitating anxiety that was preventing him from enjoying his young years with friends. He explained the desire to be with his friends, but stated that he was unable to spend the night at other children’s homes due to an overwhelming feeling of fear. When Greg would attempt to stay over for sleepovers, he had a routine of calling his Mom and Dad in the middle of the night,

Text Box: begging them to come get him. He considered himself a “failure.” This had been occurring for almost two years. The anxiety was also affecting life at home. Greg found it difficult to sleep alone in his room on most nights. During our weekly sessions, he disclosed fearing the unknown and what may happen. His mind was often overwhelmed with “What

Text Box: if…?” Greg also reported feeling high levels of anxiety around loud noises, such as fireworks and popping balloons. He had missed several social events because he didn’t think he could handle the anxiety. As the weeks passed, Greg began recognizing his fears and learning ways to face them. Starting out small, he participated in an activity that helped him to begin to pay attention to what his body is telling him when he is becoming anxious: sweating palms, racing heartbeat, shallow breathing, racing thoughts, being fidgety, shaking or tapping a foot. (Continued on page 4.)

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Volume 3, Issue 1

Text Box: “...debilitating anxiety...was preventing him from enjoying his young years with friends.”

feels when they can hold in their hands the same paper you used when you created your message. They can see the distinctiveness of your handwriting, and maybe even see a hint of your emotion in the way you form letters, how hard you press on the paper, and even the mistakes you have to scribble out.

For those special occasions when you need to communicate an intimate, heartfelt thought that you want to be certain the reader does not miss, using a handwritten note is like painting a giant red exclamation point across everything you say.

When was the last time you wrote your Mom a letter for Mother’s Day or expressed your love for your

spouse in writing? Think of how cherished a handwritten letter from you would be to your child when he or she is about to leave home, get married, or have their first child? You are creating a keepsake, a marker along the path your relationships have taken.

Not only on special occasions, but handwritten notes given spontaneously is a great way to remind those you care about that you are thinking of them. You are making emotional deposits in the bank account of your relationship each time you express to your loved ones the value they add to your life and how special they each are to you. Expressing these feelings in your own hand has the effect of magnifying the

genuineness behind your words.

Another important aspect of handwritten letters, cards and notes is the heritage that these mementos pass on in later years, as both reminders of your history together as a family, and as a reinforcement of your values, identity and traditions. While we may one day reach the point where electronic communication accomplishes this sort of intimacy, for now, nothing takes the place of a special keepsake written in your own hand!

Larry Deavers, LCSW, is Executive Director of Family Counseling Service.

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